Introducing the Smartphone™

A web series I made for The Light Phone parodying the utility of Smartphones!

Meaningful relationships can be exhausting! Now with the Smartphone™ you can ignore or escape every conversation or human interaction ever again.

From nagging bosses, spammy newsletters, to Nigerian princes, who would want to go more than a minute without checking their email? Get your Smartphone™ today and bring your inbox with you everywhere.

This revolutionary device is engineered to steal your time and attention, make you feel inadequate, overwhelmed and scared of everything so that you can buy more stuff that you don't really need. It is truly life-changing!

Now you can show everyone how mindful you are by posting your most composed, transcendent meditation and yoga videos. You can’t reach Nirvana without getting some likes first. I mean, what’s the point of being enlightened if no one knows about it? Get a Smartphone™ today. Download mindful apps so you can be on your phone more and become more mindful through your phone.

Getting a Smartphone™ is the best way to combat too much privacy. It will track all of your likes, emails, texts, tweets, searches, and even your very location in live time. I feel safer just talking about the tracking that the government and multinational conglomerate corporations are able to do! And the best part is, it's totally free, just blindly agree to our terms and conditions, and take it!

Do you not need external validation to enjoy the things you like? Forming your own opinions can be such a drag sometimes! Thankfully with the Smartphone™ everyone else can decide what you should like.